Dawn's Pensieve: The Battle of Hogwarts
by MiaBella Aimery
Summary: The Battle of Hogwarts calls Dawn Slipton back to the castle she called home for seven years. At the beginning of the end,everything considered, the story ends where it started, what does seven years amount to?
1. Chapter 1

[Hi, this is my first story on here ever.

Please read. =)

-Standard disclaimer here-.]

**Dawn's Pensieve**

**Just before the Battle of Hogwarts.**

_(Courage isn't the absense of fear, it's action in the presence of it.)_

The D.A.'s fake galleon still worked. I held it in my hands, already in my comfortable pajamas, seated on a nice fluffy sofa, in my safe home across the sea from London, with my mother cooking in the kitchen. Safe. I was safe. The little galleon in my hand said that everyone I had grown to love, my classmates and friends, was not. I had a choice to make.

I took the metal in my hands and entered the kitchen. "Mom."

"It's almost ready. You really have gotten too skinny, Dawn. I knew I should've checked up on you more. This year especially. Really, how you convinced me to let you go-- and then to have you show up two days ago, looking like that." Her head shook, the blonde locks of hair rippling this way and that down her back. Her perfume wafted across the air, mixed with the smell of simmering vegetables. The smell of home made it harder to tell her.

"Mom." I repeated, but she did not look at me.

She sent some more onions to cut with a flick of her wand, "Apparating all the way back to New York, you must've been crazy. Did they decide to let people Apparate in and out of school? Ridiculous."

"Mom. Look at me."

She did. Her gaze caught mine. In the time I'd been away, on my own in the Wizarding World, she hadn't changed. I, on the other hand, looked very different. Strangely enough…She and I were the same height now, if I wasn't a half-inch taller. Her brilliant blue eyes mirrored my own. We could've passed as twins, I expected, if my hair had been her shinning blonde instead of dark gold. "They didn't lift the anti-Apparating charm, whatever it is they do. They might have, actually. I don't know. I haven't been at Hogwarts to find out. But…You knew that."

Gwen put down her wand, and the air-born utensils cutting and cooking for her lowered as well. "I did. But I knew you had set your mind to going back, and I figured it'd be easier to let you go thinking your lie had worked."

"How did you find out?" My curiosity got the better of me.

Mom laughed, "Dawn. Your father is the American President of Magic! Did you really think in these times we'd let you run around without tracking you? Seriously, I thought you'd be smarter!"

"Sorry." I bit my lip, unsure of how to continue. How much else had Mom guessed or knew for sure? From her perch here in New York, I thought she'd be cut off from information, out of the loop and, hopefully, safe. I hadn't factored dad in. Stupid, stupid me. "What else do you know?"

"Everything." Her eyes turned toward the food again. "Your dad tells me everything he knows. Of course, America has stayed out of the fighting. You know how this country is. Unless You-Know-Who made a direct attack we're content to stay out." She waved her hands, "All this crazy stupid shit is going on. And I really did not like you being over there with the craziness. It took a lot not to go get you and haul you back home. But I didn't. Besides, what I could I do? You're of age, and I'm just your mother. Jonathan agreed; He said he'd raised you with too strong a will and too thick a head."

The smile could not be hidden, so I flashed it at her proudly. I flipped the trick galleon over and over in my hands. "I would've come back. For a little while, anyway. If you two wanted me to, I would have. But mom, you know--I wasn't ever one to play on the sidelines. You raised me in the spotlight."

At this she smiled, "I did, didn't I?"

"Yes," I stepped forward. "And that's why I'm over there, helping the cause, in the fight. Because you taught me to not to let life pass me by."

"I didn't tell you to go chase your death, either." Gwen amended. "Dawn, you didn't have to go."

"Don't have to."

"What?"

"I don't have to go."

"But--" Mom's head tilted to the right, "You're safe here. Why would you go?"

I held the galleon up for her to see. "I have to go."

Confusion gave way to knitted brows and a quivering lip. "Dawn." My name was said with disbelief, worry.

"They're calling me." She took the galleon from my head, shaking her head.

"Don't go." She slammed it down onto the table top. "Don't. Go."

I stared at her. "I have to."

"No, you don't. Dawn, this is-- ridiculous!"

"No, it's not!"

"Yes, Dawn, it is!" She clenched her jaw, eyes wide with worry. "I really thought you wouldn't have that thing anymore. This would've gone perfectly if you had thrown it away--"

"What?! What's going perfectly?" I glanced around the house. "Mom-- where's dad?!"

She sighed into her right hand. "He's there."

"He's where?"

"There, Dawn! There at Hogwarts! He didn't have to go but he volunteered. Stupid, stupid man. It's not even his problem! He's American-born and raised! Yet he still rushes over there! This is between Harry Potter and You-Know-Who! This has nothing to do with him…Or you!"

"Yes, yes it does. Mom, I'm a witch. You are, too. It's not Harry Potter versus Vol--" I caught myself. It was Taboo to say it, he could track you. But would he care? Would it reach his ears a sea away? Just in case, "Versus You-Know-Who. It'll come down to them, but right now it's a need to fight for what I believe in. For a world your friends died for." I was still reeling with the fact that my dad was at Hogwarts and had neglected to tell and take me with him. But at the moment I didn't have time to argue his case, I only had time for mine.

Her worry turned into a glare. "Don't--"

"Bring them up?" I quirked a brow. "Do you really think it's better to forget them than remember? James, Lily, Sirius-- they gave their lives for Harry. They fought for what the knew was right, however the odds were stacked. Even Dumbledore! They've taken so many…I don't want their sacrifices to be in vain."

My mother's eyes were narrowed slits. "Lily did not die for kids like you to finish her fight, Dawn. She did not die so that someone else's child could die, too. That's not how it works, she was protecting her son!"

"And it's my turn to honor that sacrifice and fight for him as well. Mom," I took her hands. "If he's our only hope, if Harry Potter, who is in my year, in my House, the same age as me, can face Him…Then I can face a Death Eater."

"This isn't about proving yourself to anyone, Dawn. It's not about showing up to say you can do it. They will kill you, Dawn! Like they killed everyone else! It's not a game! This is your life you're staking."

I sighed. We stood their, hand in hand, in the kitchen. The pot behind my mom boiled it's insides, and the music from her room reached us faintly. I wondered if, after tonight, I'd ever hear the noise of my house again. "I have to go."

"No!" My mother shouted. She tore her hands away from mine and stomped around the island of the kitchen. "I won't let you!"

"If I stay here I'll live the rest of my life wondering what would've happened! One person makes all the difference, Mom!"

"And if you go you will have no life at all! Dawn, you are seventeen! Those Death Eaters don't care how old you are, or that you're a girl! And lord forbid they find out who you really are, Dawn they will kill you faster!" Gwen grabbed onto my shoulders. "Think! Think about what you're doing! Bravery is a beautiful quality, and everyone knows you have it, you're in Gryffindor! Don't show it by dying!"

Rarely did she ever speak of what I 'really was.' The one-forth of me that possessed werewolf blood. No one would ever find out, though. We'd promised that. The secret would die with me.

"I was in Gryffindor," I smiled sadly at her. "Now I have to prove why."

"Dawn!" She was pleading now, her blue eyes close to tears. "Don't! I--I could barely handle leaving Lily. She was all the family I had left--And when I heard she died…" Her voice trailed off, she looked to the floor between us. Then suddenly I was pressed tightly against her, and her iron grip wrapped around me. "I couldn't bear it if I lost my only daughter to this stupid, stupid war."

My arms around her were just as strong. We held tightly to one another, and I guessed she knew she would not win this argument. I felt she had already decided I would die, for her lack of faith, and thought this would be the last time she would ever hold me. It was her tears that dampened my shoulder now.

"I raised you. I kept you safe, and happy. I let you make your own choices, be your own person. I did it all. You're here because of me. And now suddenly you think you can just go? Because--because…"

"You just said it." I spoke into her neck, whispering really. "I am who I am because of you. Because you made me into who I am, and I'm damn proud of that! Not many people know who they are, but I do. Because of you. But now you have to let me be that person. You have to let me go. And.." The tears were in my eyes now. "You have to have faith in me, faith that I'll come back to you. I don't think I'll be strong enough…If I don't think you have faith in me."

"Oh don't be stupid." She squeezed me. "I have all the faith in the world in you, Dawn Lily Gwendolyn Rosalie Evan Slipton-Lupin. But I worry, as mother's do. It's not you I don't have faith in."

I waited for her to calm down. When her hold on me tightened we backed away slowly and held each other at the waist. "Now go. Do what you must. But come back to me. I didn't slave over a hot stove for you to die on me. Tell your father he's in trouble, too."

I smiled, and then the tears came freely. "I will."

We hugged tightly. She let me go.

The embrace broke quickly. I think I must've pulled away, for the moment her arms left me I was running. Running upstairs to dress, running to the bathroom to fix my hair (unimportant as it seemed, I'd always hoped to die looking decent), running to get one more hug from my mother. Running to apparate in the middle of the living room back to the danger.


	2. The Battle of Hogwarts

**[Second chapter; review as you please. Standard disclaimer, and please enjoy. =)]**

**The Battle of Hogwarts**

_(Friends with the Enemy.)_

I arrived in the second group behind some older alumni, a few of whom I recognized. We were all being crammed into the Room of Requirements to await a duty. I saw that some were leaving the Room already, and I followed. Sitting idly would do nothing for my nerves.

The corridor was empty, but the hallways around it were not. I could hear the many students talking loudly, quietly to themselves but with so many the chatter was a low hum in my ears, as they were led to a destination. I blended in with them. The Great Hall came into view and I sat with the other Gryffindors. So strange to see them all again, most with battle scars already. I figured it must've been a hard year all around, in or out of the school.

Across the hall I saw the Slytherins, but more importantly, among them I noticed Katya. She picked at the dirt under her fingers, not at all bothered. Scandalous little thing she was; instead of getting dressed, like I'm sure she was instructed, she wore her silly silk night dress and her Hogwarts robe over it. Ridiculous. And yet, so her.

It was then Parkinson, that nasty cow, thought she'd be smart and speak. I rose along with the other's in my house and the Ravenclaws, and Hufflepuffs, to silence her. It was to my silent applause that she was escorted out first. By the time McGonagall had the girl pulled to the front I was rushing toward the Slytherin table, Katya in my view. She noticed me and perked a brow, hand on her hip.

"Trying to seduce a few scared little boys?" I approached calmly. We were still friends, no matter what. I was still dumb enough to believe that.

She glared at first, sizing me up. "If I am it would be only one more than you."

I huffed. "You're not counting the two I snuck in when I got here."

The both of us cackled.

"Where have you been all year?" She demanded. "It was no fun without you."

I shrugged, "Fighting the good fight."

Katya smirked, "Oh."

"And you?"

"Someone has to watch and humiliate your kind. Good fight, puh. It's more fun to point and laugh on the sidelines. You Gryffindors have far to much pride for your own good."

"And now? What of this? Your Headmaster is gone, I heard his two henchmen are out of commission as well. The Boy Who Lived is in the castle, and the Death Eaters are on their way. The Battle of Hogwarts is about to ensue, Katya. What do you chose now?"

She stared at me with the one perked eyebrow, the green of her eyes shimmering in the light, reflecting the danger within. "I'm staying."

My answering glare froze us both in eye-lock, "On what side?"

"I'm sure Potter doesn't need my help," Katya hissed at me.

"So you fight for the Death Eaters? You fight for Him."

"Yes, Halfblood. I do. When are you going to open your pretty blue eyes and see that there is no way one idiot seventeen year old is going to win against the most powerful dark wizard in history? The world is changing, wolf. Anyone going against the tide will wash away."

Damnit. I'd forgotten how much I'd trusted Katya. One slip of her evil tongue and I'd be outted to the Death Eaters. And then my mother's prediction might just as well come true. I convinced myself Remus Lupin's love child would draw no attention from Death Eaters seeking to kill Harry Potter. In all reality, the daughter of the American President of Magic would cause more of a hullaballoo. I sadly realized neither of the realities of my life gave me a great chance. "And when will you figure out that power holds nothing to love?"

"Don't start the bullshit, Slipton."

"Since no one has ever loved you, it's not surprising you don't respect its power. Just wait, Katya. We'll see who wins in the end. Your powerful leader has killed countless people, friends of mine, of my mothers. Yet you stand behind him, just as cowardly as Peter Pettigrew himself. Scared to get in his way, to challenge the authority. The cost might be your life, Katya, which you will lose someday, no matter which side you fight on. Under that self-righteous smirk there is all the fear in the world. You don't fool me."

"Scared? Puh. I am seventeen and beautiful, Slipton. No one can resist me." She flashed her body under the robe, her long black hair rolling on her shoulder. "Why would I fight to die when I don't care enough for the cause? I'd rather stand beside the centuries old tradition of being bad than suddenly going good."

"For me, Katya. Fight for me. Fight for whatever friendship there is between us."

The look in her eyes changed from a glare to a hard concentration. She was confused.

I put my hand palm up between us. "The rules say we're supposed to hate one another--"

"--I do hate you--"

"But we're friends. Best friends. I don't trust anyone as much as I trust you. If I didn't care about you I wouldn't be talking to you now. Wouldn't try to persuade you, either. This, this here, Katya. This bond we share is what Potter fights for. Not the cold bed you'll sleep in later, if He wins."

"It won't be cold, I'll always have company." Her eye sparked again. "I plan to marry, anyway. I need someone to work so I can spend the money."

"Cold, Katya, as in lonely."

"I need no one."

"Funny. You need me."

"Do not."

"Stop lying to me, Katya. Your words only work on someone who believes in them."

"You smartass daughter of a--"

"Katya."

We stared for one long moment as the chaos around us continued. Flitwick bustled passed us with an army of students behind him. On our other side the younger students were being escorted out. The noise was ceaseless, but I could hear the silence of a goodbye strong and clear in the space between myself and Katya. We both knew this moment would come, sooner or later. The circumstances of our friendship had always been, 'Don't say shit about my choice and I won't say shit about yours'. Those were her words, anyway. We existed in a peacefully ignorant space, void of life-choice. We were in-the-moment sort of people, and that had worked, until now. Until this moment had turned into the rest of our lives. This choice could be the last either of us made. I had no promise of tomorrow, nor did she. I didn't know if I would see her again.

In the castle I knew more conversations like ours were taking place among friends. Some would fight together, others would fight each other. Some would go home, others would be brave and stay. I felt, by morning, we would all have lost a friend.

She was the only one I had to loose.

"It's in my blood, Dawn." She sighed, "This is who I was born to be. Slytherin runs through my pure blood, what you call 'evil' is what I call 'home'. Your contaminated halfblood veins pump bravery, pride, 'good' through your system, as you were brought up to be. You knew and I knew one day this would happen."

"It doesn't have to Katya," I begged. "Don't do this to us."

"I'm not. Our families did it for us. Fate did it for us." She pressed her palm to mine. "Be strong, little wolf."

"Katya--"

"Dawn, if someone is going to kill me, do it first."

"Katya!"

"No, listen!" She grabbed my chin and held it still so that I would look at her. Her other hand never broke apart from mine. "I can't die to a Neville Longbottom, or a Ginny Weasley. I couldn't bare the humiliation of dying to a Luna Lovegood, or an Ernie Macmillian. I couldn't, damn those ugly mother--"

"Seriously, they wouldn't do that any--"

"Seriously!" She slapped me, not gently, but quickly, and held my chin once more. "You're the one who has to do it. You're my best friend. No one else, Dawn."

It was the first time she had ever said I was her best friend, though it didn't surprise me. Hearing it in words did, though. I couldn't help feel the tears brim in my eyes for the second time tonight.

"I could never utter the words with my wand pointed at you, Katya." I tried to keep my words from shaking. The thought of her face twisted with death was an awful image I banned immediately from my mind. "Because you're my best friend."

"Dawn Lily Gwendolyn Rosalie Evan Slipton," Her eyes closed and hardened as she said my full name. "You will kill me if you see it about to happen. Promise, damnit! I've never asked you for anything--"

"--Except Ryan Thompson's number--"

"--All I want is for you to kill me! As a dying wish!"

"No one is dying!" I yelled. "We're damn good duelers! There's no reason!"

"It's fucking DEATH EATERS AND STUDENTS, Dawn! EVERYONE is going to die! Some idiot will yell the Curse and miss! Accidents happen, things go wrong! This is a pointless battle anyway, and if I'm going to die you're going to kill me to spare my pride!"

Her shouted words scared many into looking at us. We didn't notice, we didn't care.

We held a long gaze as I soaked up her words and the truth in them. I struggled under her grip but she was just as strong as I was; we locked into an staggering position, holding to each other without breaking grasps.

"I'll-- I will!" I finally gave in.

"Promise, you halfblood, promise on your stupid life!"

"I do! I promise."

She released me. I stumbled back.

"You're so pathetic and weak." Katya dusted off her robes. "I thought it'd be harder to convince you. Of all the talk and teasing you do, you're soft inside after all."

"Because I love you, Katya." The tears spilled onto my cheeks now.

She blinked, "Excuse me?"

"I never had a sister, Katya. I never trusted anyone so close, I never had a friend who understood me so well. So many people in my life, Katya, but you would be the maid of honor at my wedding, the Godmother to my children! I trust you with my life! I love you, Katya."

"Ew, kids." She rolled her eyes. "Quit babbling like a soap opera star--"

Her voice choked off when my arms wrapped around her neck. "Blood is not thicker than water alone, but muddy water maybe. You fight with me because that's how you show affection."

Her arms slowly took hold of my middle. Soft at first, but then she was squeezing me back, and I felt moisture on the shoulder of my shirt. "I love you, too."

"If--if we die," I stammered, "I-..I w-w-want you to kn-know that."

"I wanted you to know, too." She giggled.

We backed away, but kept in each other's arms. I sighed. "This isn't goodbye."

"When my side wins I'll make sure to put in a good word for you," She teased, "You can be our pet."

"When Potter kicks ass I'll save you from Azkaban."

"Deal."

"Deal."


	3. The Battle of Hogwarts II

**[Third chapter; review as you please. Standard disclaimer, and please enjoy. =)]**

**The Battle of Hogwarts, Part II**

_(Promises)_

"Protego!"

"Expelliarmus!"

"Stupefy!"

"Avada Kedavra!"

The spells were flying everywhere, sometimes at no one in particular. Into the crowds the spells went to hit unlucky victims. The castle was beginning to fall all around us, and the bodies with it. So narrowly I had avoided being crushed under the avalanche of rubble and skin. More importantly, I had never been so wanted dead in my life. At one point five Death Eaters attacked me and a few others in one group. He said the Killing Curse over and over, and though eventually we Stunned him, he managed to take the Hufflepuff on my right with him. We were all fighting as one, the students. In groups we traveled while we attacked. The falling building would separate us, a rogue spell split us apart. We found another group. We fought on.

It was running, and shouting, and instinct. It was trusting the person beside you unequivocally, and risking your life for theirs. It was teamwork. It was scary. It was adrenaline. It was fear at it's best, fighting.

Over my shoulder I yelled, "Protego!" but it wouldn't work for long. I needed to regroup. I found three fighting two and I joined in to make it even, which was very dangerous, as now I was one-on-one with a hooded figure. The wand raised at me and I heard, "Avada" slip through the lips of my attacker. Without thinking my I pointed my wand and thought the first spell in my mind. Before the second word of his curse finished me off his whole body froze and fell to the floor, and I saw that, amazingly, Binding him had worked. The other two students had their Death Eater count to one, so I moved on.

I was on the second floor when I saw Katya for the first time. She came up on a group of dueling students and a Death Eater. From behind the students, she silently bound and stunned them. I was relieved briefly to see that she did not kill them. The Death Eater seemed confused; a student helping him had thrown him off. He paused long enough for Angelina Johnson to pass and notice, and still longer so that she Stunned him and ran. Not far in the distance Katie Bell looked as though she could use some help, and I assumed that's where Angelina would go.

Katya raised her wand for Angelina's back and I reacted instinctively. My own wand rose and I shouted, "Mobiliarbus!" The rock under her foot zoomed forward, knocking her ankle and causing her to fall ungracefully onto her butt.

She glared around, fire in her eyes and I was suddenly ready to duel her. She caught my eye and my wand was still raised toward her. I thought, 'Not her. Not Angelina.' And hoped it showed in my face. The most evil smirk graced Katya's already menacing face and I inched back the slightest, getting into stance. A moment to late I noticed her eyes weren't glaring, they were closed in laughter. Exhaling, I lowered my wand.

I waited for her to stand. When she was up and I was satisfied I hadn't hurt her, I took a step forward in the opposite direction she would go. At the same time, we both turned over our shoulders.

I saw her mouth the word, "Promise."

Green light. I saw it spark some ten feet in front of her; Katya didn't see it coming, her eyes were on me. Time slowed, as impossible as it seemed, and from that point on no small detail went unnoticed by me. I felt my pupils enlarge like the Engorgio Charm had just been shot at them, and my face twisted into shock and alarm. She instantaneously mirrored my expression and began to turn, as I raised my wand and uselessly shouted, "FINITE INCANTATUM!" Even if I had said it in time, even if I had aimed properly, it would not have stopped the Curse. Katya twisted forward just in time to see the Killing Curse hit her squarely in the chest. It knocked her back in a ripple. First her chest, then her shoulders, rolling to her arms. Her knees bent as her body fell limply in the air, the robe and her hair rising up with the force of her body dragging it down. A shrill ring in my ears made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.

Before I could step forward to run two bodies caught my shoulders and pushed me back. I fought against them only to catch another person by the arm and gain no ground. I didn't care then that students seemed to be running from the spot I so desperately needed to be. Only when Ryan Thompson grabbed my shoulders and pushed me back did I focus on anyone but Katya.

"Slipton what are you doing!? No one is alive back there!"

I struggled against him intentionally.

"What about Katya, stop shouting!"

Then I detected the shrill ring; I had been screaming her name. Without my consent Ryan heaved me over his shoulder and ran with the both of us.

"What promise?" He asked me as he ran.

I cupped my hand over my lips; in my hysteria I had no control over my mouth.

He shoved us both in a classroom where he let me down. He locked the door with a wave of his wand. I doubled over, hand still clapped over my mouth, tears spilling down my cheeks.

"Dawn! You're going to get killed!"

Phrases raced through my head, both comforting and not. _You__'__re weak like your mother for crying like this. At least you tried to stop it. If you hadn__'__t tripped her she would not have died. This is why Slytherin__'__s don__'__t have Gryffindor friends. The bright side is no one disgraceful killed her._

I should've killed her like I promised to.

And then his arms were around me and I collapsed into him. The tears didn't stop, and I shook like crazy, but Ryan didn't seem to mind. He was such a Hufflepuff, a nice boy with manners of a gentleman. Then I began to cry more when I remembered it was Katya who had made us friends.

"We can't stay here," Ryan said urgently. "We have to go. It's not over, I don't know what to do with you, I--"

He was beginning to ramble, afraid for his life even though his upbringing told him I, the lady, was the priority. He was caught between an instinct to survive and the rules of his parents.

I inhaled deeply. I summoned up my courage and I exhaled out the sadness. Mourning would have to wait. Right now there were more important things to do.

"Thank you, let's go."

I said it rather quickly, so when I launched myself away and at the door Ryan hesitated a moment before following. With my wand I opened the door and stood away from it's opening. After peaking around I hurried back out into the fight.

The cycle started again. Protego, Expelliarmus, Stupify, Avada Kedavra. More intense now. The body count rose, but the first taste of a friend's death had made me quite numb. Other faces were just blurs around me; internally I think my mind blurred the world as a defense mechanism. It knew I wouldn't handle loosing someone else better, but worse.

From the second floor I went upstairs many times and somehow ended up on the first floor. The chaos of the floors above was apparent here much more than on the upper floors; anything that had fallen of the building, and bodies, landed here.

When finally I became conscious again, fully conscious, and the world jolted into clarity, I found myself and five other students backing into a wall. Three Death Eaters blocked our escape. I shouted Stupefy too many times to count but it was like I had no aim anymore.

I went on the defense.

I could feel The Curse coming on, and as soon as that feeling hit I heard, "Avada". Before the wand pointed at Creevey could hit it's target I pushed him, hard out of the way. He fell behind an upperclassmen on his right.

"Kedavra."

Someone caught me around the waist and pulled me back with so much strength the breath escaped me, trailing out of my mouth as I flew backward. By the 'umph' of my savior and the way I less-than-gently smashed face-first into his chest said we had unexpectedly hit a wall.

I opened my eyes and sure enough, over his shoulder was the wall. I blinked. I looked up.

"Oliver!"

Breathing hard against the wall, staring down at me with horrified, but deeply handsome brown eyes, Oliver Wood held tightly to me with both arms. My arms were around his neck then as the realization that I had almost died pulsed through me, accompanied by adrenaline.

"Ohmigod," I breathed out. "Thank you." I squeezed his neck.

"I--lost--…you…once." He said breathily, visibly shaken. "I promised--I--would…never…let it happen…again."

His hold on me loosened, but mine didn't. Without thinking, and being ridiculous, I realized a second too late, I stood on tip-toe to plant a kiss on his lips, which he greedily returned. His hands took in fistfuls of my shirt, and mine held his face.

And then we were fighting again, but unlike my other fighting partners, I made sure not to loose Oliver. Wherever he ran, I followed. Whoever I fought, he fought with me. We held hands once, briefly, while we escaped down the third floor hallways.


	4. Keep Holding On

**[Fourth chapter; review as you please. Standard disclaimer, and please enjoy. =)]**

**Keep Holding On**

_(Say Goodbye)_

Scared didn't even begin to cover it.

After separating from Oliver to find Katya's body the fear of death set in. Hard. While fighting with Oliver rejuvenated me for the duration of the battle, the Dark Lord's words had quelled the fighting. Now we were left to wait for the second wave of his attack while searching the bodies for those we couldn't find.

I rummaged through the damage, through the bodies. The dead's faces contorted with the curse that had killed them, they were horrors to me. Unrecognizable, almost. If went around and closed their eyes and mouths maybe it'd be easier to see them. I'd imagine them asleep. Ohmigod, I thought. Is that Fred Weasley?!

...Is that Remus Lupin?...

My heart dropped to my stomach and tears streaked down my face. The father I had never known lay face up in my path. Dead. I backed into a wall and covered my mouth, knowing that the usual lock on my emotions had been broken open tonight. If I started to scream or babble, hopefully my hand would muffle the sound. Maybe a silencing spell would work better.

I stared at his face for the longest time. The scars that cut up his would-be handsome face, his blue eyes, the golden color of his hair. We were so alike in looks I wondered how neither of us had seen the resemblance. I saw my mother's school pictures in my mind, the ones of the two of them together. I looked like both of them, and somehow I felt that even if he hadn't raised me, I was still part Remus Lupin in persona. I wondered if he would have been proud of me. I wondered if he had known I was his daughter...

Another gut-wrenching realization: He had a son! A baby somewhere in the world that would never know his dad. Oh god, how alike my half-brother and I were already! What would happen to him?! Unintentionally, Remus left both his children and would know neither of us. He was dead. Remus Lupin, my true father, was gone forever. One more in the sea of lost lives, lost futures, the Battle of Hogwarts had taken.

I did the honor of closing his eyes. I kneeled beside him and stole a kiss on his cheek. "I'm sorry."

In my daze I managed to wander back to where I'd last seen Katya. The Second Floor.

There she lay, face up, taking up the most space as anyone around her. Beautiful even in death, she made The Killing Curse a fashion. I was so childishly jealous at that moment, worrying myself over how beautiful I might look and knowing I would pale in comparison against her. No tears now, as I sat beside my lovely best friend. My fingers pushed down her eyelids, and I closed her mouth. She relaxed under my will. Cold as she was, her pale skin looked as white as it did when she was alive. ...Not an hour ago. Alive, we were both in the Great Hall. We discussed our deaths, the sides we'd fight on, and admitted the deep friendship, the sisterly affection we held each other in. Now I sat alone in a sea of people, the only one with a pulse. And my best friend in the world lay beside me on the floor, dead because of a mistake I made. How strange... I moved the hair from Katya's face... How strange that I lived while she died. As I tried to think, 'She's still alive, she'll open her eyes any second.' I knew she wouldn't. Somewhere in the fight and search I'd come to terms with her death. I'd let her go. I blamed myself, yes, but I let her die in peace. I gave her the satisfaction of knowing I'd made the mistake without the hysterics she would've slapped me for showing over her dead body now. In the after life I planned on begging her forgiveness, and since we'd have the rest of eternity I'd spend it making it up to her. She'd dub me her slave but I wouldn't care. Just to be with her again would be enough.

I carried, yes carried, her body downstairs. In the crowds of mourning people I lay Katya in an empty corner of the Great Hall, positioning her comfortably. Now she appeared to be only sleeping. It's true of the dead, this simple description. They are only sleeping, until you realize they're never going to wake up.

It didn't bother me now, of course. Now that I'd accepted her death. But in the back of my mind the alchemist in me insisted, 'I can save her. I can save them all. I can figure out the secret, and I can bring her soul back. If you can attach a soul to an inanimate object, surely it'll attach even better to it's original container. It's magic science, what could be stronger than that? What can't that power do?' Logic answered, 'People die. People die trying to bring back the dead, and it's never a pretty sight. Let her die beautifully, Dawn. Let yourself live a full life for her, don't be obsessed with a past you can't change. Be reasonable. Science is science, not the secret of life.'

When I looked up then to brush my tears away, Oliver entered with Collin Creevey over his shoulder. The words 'Oh no' formed on my lips, only no sound came out. Oliver found me in the crowd, sadness in his eyes. He lay Creevey down and motioned for me to come with him. I stood with no trouble at all, intent to meet Oliver at the Great Hall enterance. It was leaving Katya that proved an impossible task; everytime I attempted to take my first step away from her I only succeded in strange feeling head-bobbling body convulsions. I was literally fighting myself to leave, or to stay, depending on how you looked at it. Oliver's brows furrowed in confusion. He held out his hand and I still couldn't move myself. From staring at me he turned his attention to my surroundings and finally laid eyes on Katya; I saw the, 'Oh no' in his eyes.

Oliver never understood my friendship with Katya. Like many Gryffindors he saw the Slytherins as evil, contaminated snakes that could never be considered human in the slightest, or God forbid, be considered a friend! He'd tell me not to trust Katya, and I told him I didn't. Back then I didn't trust Katya. I was her 'friend', in the sense that I could stand to be around her for long periods of time and not want to beat her up like the other girls in my year, and House. Something about Gryffindor girls just pissed me the hell off. Pride on the girls of Gryffindor made them unnattractive to me, friend wise. I found myself wanting to yell cuss words at them on too many occasions. Katya evoked the New Yorker in me. I could be myself around her, which worked out perfectly because I'd become bored with being Dawn the American Gryffindor. Katya said, "You're not a Gryffindor to me. You don't act like one. So when we're together, you're not. You're Dawn 'I-have-fifty-thousand-fucking-middle-names' Slipton, and I'm Katya James. Simple as that. And don't ever complicate it, bitch, or I will kick your American ass. I don't have the patience to find another friend."

Even without understanding what we saw in each other, Oliver understood my loss. Instead of holding out one hand, he held out both his arms. Like a secret password my legs unlocked and propelled me forward. I didn't run, Oliver patiently waited for me. I wrapped myself up in him, but I didn't let myself go. I took my first big breath in and exhaled slowly.

Oliver's lips were next to my ear. He said, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You didn't do anything wrong...It's just, something didn't go right." I squeezed his middle before I backed away. "Do you need help?"

"Uh..Uhm," Oliver looked over his shoulder, back toward the castle exterior."I think there's enough helping..."

Obviously he thought I couldn't handle seeing anyone else dead. He was trying to keep me inside and spare me the sight of the bodies. I appreciated the gesture.

"Oliver, if I quit now all I've done so far will be for nothing. I can't chicken out now just because Katya's gone." I took another calming breath, "I have to keep going, because she's gone. Giving up now, when it gets rough..." I shook my head.

Oliver frowned. "You don't have to prove you're strong enough, Dawn. If you need to rest it would be better you do so now."

"Thank you, Mr. Obvious," I smiled. It was so like him to be rational, to take care of me like we were back in school, on the team, and this was just a really rough match against the Slytherins. "But I feel as good as anyone else here, and I want to help. I need to."

His deep brown eyes appraised me slowly, carefully. I felt my expression soften, and I knew a sadness would show in my eyes that he would surely notice. Oliver's hand caressed the length of my cheek, I leaned into his touch.

"If you say so." He finally agreed.

I couldn't help pushing up on tip-toe to steal a kiss. He returned the gesture, his lips soft against mine. I pulled away unwillingly, he rested his head against mine.

"Let's go."


	5. Keep Holding On II

**[Fifth chapter; review as you please. Standard disclaimer, and please enjoy. =)]**

**Keep Holding On, Part II**

_(If You Sing this Lullaby, Then In Your Heart There Will Always Be a Part of Me)_

"Here! I found one alive!" I waved Oliver over. While he directed someone else to drag a body inside, I kept my finger on a Ravenclaw's neck, feeling her pulse beat slowly.

Squatting beside me, Oliver sighed in relief when he too felt her pulse and weak breathing. "That's the fifth one you've found!"

"Thank heaven," I helped Oliver pick up our live one, "Some good has to come of being brave."

"Speaking of," Oliver set the Raven down in the Great Hall floor with some students who were self-proclaimed healers (at this point what other choice did we have but to trust them?) "What did your parents think of you being here?"

"My mom hated it, and my dad--" I blinked. My heart acelerated and the room began to spin. "He's here! Oliver! My dad!"

I didn't care to explain further, I just started running. I ran around the Great Hall, searching the bodies for my dad's face. I asked people quickly, "Have you seen Jonathan Williams?" Some mouths dropped. Why would the American President be here? They hadn't seen him.

With Oliver on my heels I headed back outside. I darted between the debris and death, each step brining me closer and closer to a nervous break down. I heard myself whispering, "Daddy?" quietly, but I couldn't control my fear enough to stop. For the passed thirty minutes I'd spent all my effort helping strangers, all to at the last minute remember my dad might be the one who really needed my help. If he ended up being one of these lifeless bodies, I would never forgive myself.

Maybe twenty yards from the castle Enterance I spotted a lone body laying in the grass. My legs pumped faster than before, and Oliver's worried calls faded. My heart thudded heavily in my ears, and a strange ringing sound harmonized with it. I skidded to the ground, jumping over the body to avoid colliding with it. My dad, eyes wide open, stared blankly at the dark starry sky. His face, twisted with horror, reflected all the others dead around him. His leg, facing the wrong direction, was obviously broken and his wand lay two feet out of his reach. My hand searched his wrist, his neck, his temple, but I felt no pulse. I shook him until Oliver's arms restrained me. I must've been screaming extremely loud, because Neville, strangly far from the castle, helped Oliver try to pull me away, but I fought them both off. They had succeeded in tearing me away from my dad only to be smacked until forced to let me go. I ran straight back to him and laid at his side, trying to hear his heart beat through his chest. Only silence.

Very weakly, and hysterically crazy with grief, I attempted to sing to him. " I promised I would never leave you, and you should always know...Wherever you may go, No matter where you are, I never will be far away."

From his chest something gurgled and settled again. I wrote it off as normal dead stuff, but then it happened again and his skin shifted. I sat up and wiped away my tears, unsure of what to think.

Then like a miracle sent straight from above, the terrified face melted away to serenely asleep features, and my father's chest heaved upward as he breathed in.

"Daddy?"

He stirred. His lips curled into a smile just before his blue eyes slowly opened. His gorgeous blue irises rolled to meet mine, and his smile widened. "There's my girl."

My lips trembled and a whole nother set of tears rolled down my face. I hated myself for crying-- it clouded my vision and I couldn't enjoy his face, alive with color and worry for me.

"What's wrong, love?" He cooed, holding me in his arms. "I'm okay, darling. I'm okay."

"D-da-ad y-you w-w-w-w-er-er-er---"

"It's a plan I came up with, Dawny. I needed to have a back up strategy, and this was the best I had." He petted my hair, whispered calmly into my ear. "Did you really think I'd leave you and your mom so easily? What would you do without me?" His quiet laughter shook in his chest.

I just held him tighter. He kissed my hair.

"Dawny," He pleaded.

I shook my head.

"Do you want me to explain?"

I nodded.

"Your mother wouldn't let me go unless I had a plan, so I thought up one way before this happened. It's been long anticipated, this Battle at Hogwarts. Things always have a way of ending where they begun, you know." I heard him smiling. "So I made a disguising potion and convinced your mom it would work, and that everything would be fine. I was dueling, and the fight got a little too close for comfort, so when he said his curse I fell to the ground, face down and discretely drank the potion. He left me alone. I knew you wouldn't be far off my trail when I left New York, and if something happened to either of us your mother would come, too. And with the way I know both of you," My dad tucked the hair in my face behind my ear to better look at me, "You would sing to me, and that's the 'antidote'. I knew it would be safe for me to wake up when you were close enough to sing to me."

"You're so stupid," I whimpered, and I punched him in the arm. My dad laughed at me, patted my back. He wasn't part of my biological make up, but he was part of the making of my heart. He'd raised me from birth, didn't leave my mother when she admited to having her high school flame's child, even agreed to tell everyone that I was his own, and loved me as such. We looked alike even, and I supposed it was because I'd grown up with him. I never told him I knew about Remus; I wanted him to know that I only thought of him as a father, and that no one else could claim that title for me but him. Jonathan Williams was the only father I had ever known, brave and smart, caring and kind. He was a true man, the heroic kind that all girls wants as fathers and all women want as a lover. I was lucky enough to call him dad, and the thought of losing him had almost sent me reeling into insanity. That I had him back was a miracle upon miracles.

"I thought I was rather crafty," he joked.

I buried my head further in to his chest, and he held me close while I atttempted to breath easier.

"Hello, Oliver," my dad greated politely.

I saw Oliver nod, glance at my dad reluctantly before his big brown eyes returned to me. "Sir."

Oliver and my dad were relatively close back when we'd been dating. I brought him home a couple of times and he'd hit it off with both parents, but under the circumstances I figured Oliver might have gained back some of his fear of my father. After all, my dad was a President, a strong looking guy, and Oliver was the boyfriend. I might have been scared too.

"I assume I can thank you for keeping my daughter alive?" Dad questioned.

Oliver nodded a bit, and I furrowed my brow. I had done a good job of keeping myself alive, thank you very much. But Oliver had nodded just slightly, like he wanted to acknowledge this too. Apparently all I'd needed to do was give him the look because as soon as I did he quickly added, "She did well without me, sir, but since I found her I haven't let her out of my sight."

"Well," my dad patted my back, a sign that he'd like to get up now. I reluctantly detached myself and stood, helped him up though he didn't really need it, and stood between my two boys. My father held out his hand to Oliver, who took it in a strong hold. "I owe you my life, son."

I turned to stare hard at my dad, my heart melting. He'd never called any of my boyfriends, 'son'. Not even Oliver when we'd first dated. It was a term of endearment, something special, like how he only ever called my mother and I 'love'. Forget that he'd just called me his life, he'd basically just given Oliver the okay to marry me! How ridiculous at a time like this, when I didn't know if I 'd be alive to get married at all! Maybe that's why he'd said it, I thought. In case he never got the chance to, if we didn't get a tomorrow, he wanted us to know now that he approved, that Oliver was as good as family. I pouted my lips, whispered lovingly, "Dad."

Oliver glanced at me, a soft smile on his face. "I was just saving mine, sir."

My lip trembled. I realized that I hadn't taken a moment to appreciate Oliver, even after the fighting had dwindled down. As my dad dropped Oliver's hand with a knowing smile, I held Oliver's eyes and tried not to cry. Oliver opened his arms and I melted into them, my arms circling his neck. I clung to him desperately. His life now, too? Is this what war did to people? Made them say crazy things? Was it so crazy to call him the love of my life if my life ended today? It would be true if that were the case, but I really hoped not to die. In the context of this moment, if this was all I had, I felt like Oliver was what I wanted for the rest of my life.

I didn't know what to say; words couldn't describe, and the didn't seem good enough, worth enough at the moment. Oliver seemed to think the same. He just held me tightly, squeezed me a bit at certain moments. I forgot how this fit, how I felt safe here, and when I realized I'd forgotten, I remembered. And because I remembered I started to cry, because I couldn't believe I'd lost him, and now I had him back. I wanted to say 'I love you', but it seemed so cliché. I wanted him to know that regardless of the past, whatever happened in the future of this night, I wanted to be with him. As he'd said when he saved my life, I'd lost him once. I never wanted to lose him again. But there wasn't anything I could say to encompass all that raw emotion, the feeling I had here in his arms. So I kept my lips shut and just held him. I might not get another chance.

"Dawn, you're going to choke the poor boy." My dad laughed. He didn't seem at all uncomfortable; my dad was used to me and boys, and I knew for a fact he liked Oliver the best now. He made jokes about how perfect it was the President's daughter went for a foreign athlete.

"I don't mind, sir," Oliver chuckled. I sadly loosened my grip around Oliver and settled for clinging to his side.

"I know it's been a year or two, Oliver, but I meant it when I told you to call me Jonathan." Dad smiled.

Oliver nodded.

"Well, I suppose I should see what's going on around here," Dad brushed off his jacket. "Might as well be a diplomat and what not, now that I know we're all safe and sound. Care to join me?"

"One moment," I said. "Great Hall is where everyone seems to be gathering."

He saluted me, blew a kiss, and turned around.

I sighed deeply.

Oliver brushed a tear I'd missed off my cheek. "You need to rest."

"What is it with you and wanting me to rest?" I grinned. "Could you sleep through something like this?"

"No," he was not amused with my joking. "But I don't like how tired you look. It would make me feel a lot better if you would at least sit down for awhile."

I took hold of his hand on my face and held it there, leaned into his quidditch roughed, strong hand. My eyes closed. "I couldn't if I wanted to."

"But if you're tired, and they come again, Dawn I--"

When I opened my eyes, mentally finishing Oliver's sentence, his deep brown eyes were trouble ridden with worry, and I could almost see all the horrible scenarios his mind was mulling over. I put his hand on my hip, and he did the job of encircling his arms around my waist while I gently used my hands to brush his eyes closed. My lips met his and for a moment I forgot about a war and death, about loss and grief, sorrow. I only knew Oliver, and this feeling, and the warmth of his body next to mine, and how I'd been saved by a love I'd thought long ago had died. His lips moved with mine, and though he pulled back a couple of times, mummbled my name or a fear that we should move somewhere safer, I just pressed closer to him, kept kissing him, because when I stopped we would have to go inside to stay safe, we would have to keep looking for bodies, we would have to fight for our lives. But for this moment, I was in love, reunited with a piece of my heart, and I wanted him to know that. Just in case.


End file.
